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Musings of an addict.

Little angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I’ll never hear a word you say
He promised I would find a little solace
And some piece of mind
Whatever just as long as I don’t feel so….

So desperate and ravenous.

Desperate and ravenous. Two feelings that can cause chaos and ruin my life. Feelings that have the potential to destroy my sanity and my sobriety. I’m in a great position to take my life towards a direction of love, family, success, and fulfillment. I have so much to be grateful for, yet I dance carelessly on a cliff that falls into a pitch black abyss of loneliness and addiction. My 21 year old girlfriend of almost 3 years means the world to me. I think to myself all the time about how lucky I am to have found someone so perfect for me. I believe she feels the same way about me and she has said she could see us being together for life. She understands my addiction issues and she has stayed with me through some tough times. She also has said that if I let myself go again, she’s done. I understand my active addiction is a burden only I should bear. I hate the thought of what my life would be like without her in it. I’m writing this because I don’t know what else to do. I’m alone, listening to music in the dark and wondering why I am depressed. There’s a lot of things I could do to feel better but I feel like I’m stuck.

I’m fucking stuck.

Like I have good things going for me career wise but if I can’t get unstuck from myself, then things can easily fall apart.

bestofboxing:

December 26, 1908: Jack Johnson defeats Tommy Burns by KO in round 14 and becomes the first black man to win the world heavyweight title.

bestofboxing:

December 26, 1908: Jack Johnson defeats Tommy Burns by KO in round 14 and becomes the first black man to win the world heavyweight title.

Happiness schmappiness.I think the pursuit of it, and our focus on it, is narcissistic. I don’t think that should be the goal in life. I think the goal in life is to have a good life — rich, fulfilled, filled with love — and have a sense that you are doing something to make the world a better place — and then happiness is a byproduct of a life well lived.